


i really wish i hated you

by greenteasunsets



Category: Bandom, Cobra Starship, The Academy Is...
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Canon Gay Character, Idiots in Love, M/M, Teen Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-26
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:47:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26666176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greenteasunsets/pseuds/greenteasunsets
Summary: Rule #1: Don’t fall in love with your best friend.
Relationships: William Beckett/Gabe Saporta
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	i really wish i hated you

"I can't sleep."

I hold the phone up to my ear, blinking into the pitch black of my room.

I glance at my clock. It’s 1 fucking am.

" _And?_ " I ask, still tired out of my mind.

"I dunno. Can I come over or something?"

At 1 am? On a Wednesday? Who does Gabe think he is?

"We have school in the morning. And unlike you, I'm tired."

"Well wake up then!"

"Gabe, my parents are asleep. Do you know how noisy you can be?"

"I promise I'll keep quiet.."

I can't believe I'm considering letting this dumbass come over this late. How's he even gonna get home? 

"Fine, but you're coming in through the window. I don't trust you with the front door anymore."

"It was _one_ time!"

"One time too many. Now get your shit and hurry, otherwise I'm going back to sleep."

"Fine, fine. See you soon."

I hang up before Gabe does, the little kissy noise he always makes into the phone cutting off.

I don't think I'd let anyone else pull this shit. I've known Gabe longer than I can remember and he's one of the closest friends I have, if not the closest.

No matter how annoying or loud he can be, I'd never trade him for anyone.

*

No more than 10 minutes later, I hear frantic way-too-loud knocking on my window, and a faint " _Bilvy!_ Let me in!"

Before Gabe wakes up everyone in the fucking house, I get out of bed and run over to the window. I push it open and Gabe steps inside, a deep blue backpack slung over his shoulder.

I step back and he's panting like a fucking dog, all hunched over and wheezing.

"Are you okay?" I ask, flopping back onto my bed.

"I ran all the way here. So no, I'm really not."

Conveniently, there's a room temperature bottle of water sitting on my nightstand. I reach for it, and chuck it at Gabe.

"Hey!" He says, standing up straight after it hits him.

"Should've caught it," I shrug.

I hear him mumble a few words and scoff, grabbing the water bottle and screwing the lid off.

"So're you gonna let me sleep or do you wanna do something?"

"I thought your parents were sleeping..?" He says after swallowing half of the water bottle.

"In here, silly. We could like, I dunno, talk. Not much to do at 1 am.”

Gabe stands still for a few seconds, looking unsure of what move to make.

"You’re right. I guess I can try to sleep.”

"Thought you weren’t tired?” I scoot back in my bed, making room for Gabe.

He crawls into it next to me, pulling the covers over himself.

“After running the entire distance here, I am.”

"So why couldn’t you sleep?" I ask him after a few beats of silence.

"My house can get lonely at times. Also, I've just got a lot on my mind."

I turn over to face him, "like what?"

"Er, I don't know..."

I stare where I think Gabe's eyes would be.

"Someone that I think I like."

Hm.

"Oh. Who?" If I'm going to be honest, I really don't want to know. But as his best friend, it's my duty to be there for him when he's not doing well, so my feelings don't matter.

Gabe doesn't elaborate any more, and I'm part relieved and part worried.

I decide to snuggle up against his chest since he won't let me help verbally, and it's the least I can do. I feel his breathing steady a bit, and right before I slip into sleep, I feel him wrap an arm around me.

*

When I wake up, my room is bright and it almost burns my eyes compared to how dark it was last night. 

I feel Gabe's entire body pressed up against me, and see his arm wrapped protectively around my waist.

Oh.

I carefully lift his arm so I can move to look at the clock.

Oh my fucking god. Not again.

I reach behind me and violently shake Gabe awake.

"Gabe! Gabe!! Wake the fuck up, it's 12 pm!"

"Hm?" I hear him groan and his weight shift to the left.

"We need to leave like, now."

"Oh," he looks at the clock, " _oh_ , fuck."

He jumps out of my bed, reaching for his bag resting near the window.

I'm already pulling off my t-shirt and looking for a clean one when he's about to leave the room.

"Gabe, you're seriously not leaving in your pajamas, are you?" I stop, squinting at him.

"Oh."

I finish taking off my shirt, and reach for a pair of skinny jeans lying on the floor. I toss them at him, "Put those on."

He shrugs, and begins taking off his pants. I look away as he changes and focus on changing myself.

"Nice ass,"

I look back at Gabe and he's smirking, buttoning his jeans.

"Shut-up," I mutter, feeling my face start to burn.

It takes longer than it should to get ready, even with the exception of no shower, and I take Gabe's hand as we're rushing out the front door. 

I've never been more thankful for my parents having morning jobs.

*

"We're dead, so dead," I tell Gabe as we're speed-walking to the main office. 

"This isn't the first time we've been late, you know, it won't be that bad."

"Gabe, last time we got 3 detentions and a call home because you spilled the beans about the druggie party you dragged me to, we're fucked!"

Gabe rolls his eyes at me and yanks open the door.

"Morning, boys. Where've you been?" Mrs. Jones, or lucifer himself that hates everyone, stares at us with fires in her eyes and, God, I don't know if I can go through this again.

"Sleeping," Gabe grins, and I elbow him.

"Okay," She opens her drawer, and I give Gabe a death stare. He shrugs and keeps the same smug look on his face.

He's really pretty, actually.

She writes out our passes, and we leave faster than we got there.

Gabe gives me a half-ass hug before running upstairs to pre-calc, and I watch him until he turns the corner.

Even though I'm probably going to get beat when I get home, I don't regret my little sleepover with Gabe. Not at all, really.

I walk to class still thinking of how warm he felt against me.

*

I walk Gabe home for what feels like the 1000th time. And it probably is.

It's drizzling and neither of us have umbrellas, so we're bound to be soaked by the time we get home, myself especially.

"You think your mom will get mad that you snuck out last night?" I turn to Gabe.

"Nah, I don't think she even noticed that I didn't come back."

I frown a little at that. Gabe's mother has always been sort of absent and his dad left when he was young, so he doesn't really have much of a connection with either of his parents. I like having him over my house because my parents sort of treat him like family, y'know?

I shuffle closer to Gabe, and wrap an arm around his waist.

"I'm sorry, Gabanti."

He looks at me and smiles wearily. I'm about to smile back, that is until he leans in to peck my cheek.

"It's okay, _mi amor_."

He definitely notices the red in my cheeks because if I can feel it then there's no way he'd miss it. Also, he has that stupid little egotistical smile of his.

I shouldn't even be blushing.

I look away before I do anything I'd regret and walk Gabe to his doorstep.

We look at eachother for a few seconds, and I begin to turn away to go home.

"Do you want to come in? I don't want you getting any more wet."

I turn back to him, "Sure."

*

I set my phone down, just having finished texting my mom that I'd be over Gabe's for awhile.

Speaking of Gabe, he’s sat at his desk and scribbling something down on a piece of paper.

Naturally, I'm curious as to what he's writing so I stand from his bed and walk over to him. 

I wrap my arms around him from behind, "Whatcha writing?"

"Er, nothing," I can tell he doesn't want me to read it, because he covers the lined paper with his hands and hunches over.

"Oh, come on, it can't be that embarrassing," I twist my head to look at him, and now our faces are inches apart.

"It kinda is," He glances back down at the paper.

"Let me read it!"

"No."

"Please?" I give him my infamous puppy eyes and pout my bottom lip. Like every other time I've used it on him, he cracks, and sighs.

"Okay," He removes his hands, and gives me the sheet of paper.

I snatch it from his hand and back away.

My eyes skim over what seem to be lyrics and holy shit, this is good stuff.

"You seriously wrote this?" I ask, unable to take my eyes off the paper.

"Yeah, now give it back," He takes the paper from my hands.

"What's it called?"

"I don't have a name for it yet."

"I can help you come up with one," I circle around him so I can read the lyrics again.

"I don't-"

"Mm, One day robots will cry?"

He stares at me.

"What?" I feel like he's burning holes into my skin with the way he's looking at me.

"How did you even come up with that?" He sits back down and I assume he jots the title down.

"Dunno. 'T just popped into my head."

I press a kiss to his cheek, and make my way back to the bed. 

I wonder who the lyrics are about. They sound a sort of..romantic? Not the word I’m looking for, but they seem like they could be for the person that Gabe said he’s got a little crush on.

Don’t know.

*

I really, _really_ don't like parties.

Well, that's a lie. I do.

Just not parties where Gabe decides to flirt and grind on any girl within a 50 foot radius of him.

Normally I wouldn't notice. But something's changed, and I notice now. 

Another lie. I've always noticed. But I've only really came to terms with the fact that I do indeed care _very_ much.

It shouldn't bug me. Gabe's 18, in his last year of high school. He should be allowed to enjoy himself and get with any girl he wants at a party or in general.

But I want to be that girl.

It's bad- I know.

We're supposed to be like brothers. But lately I've found myself wanting to touch him, kiss him, be near him. More than usual. 

You shouldn't want to do those kind of things with your best-friend, but I do, and now I'm stuck. Very stuck.

I’m having a hard time trusting myself around him, too. 

Like the other night, we were laying on my bed and watching a movie, and he wrapped his arms around me. I could no longer focus on the movie, only him. And I almost kissed him.

It’s bad.

There's atleast 40 people crammed into this shitty little house, and all I can seem to focus on is Gabe.

He's got a gorgeous red-head fixated on him. I recognize her as a girl named Hayley from our school. I've only talked to her maybe twice, but she seems nice. Suspiciously nice. Maybe too nice for Gabe.

She's twirling her hair around her finger and goggling at Gabe. He's giving her bedroom eyes and leaning in towards her.

I want to look away so bad, but I just can't seem to.

I down the rest of my drink bitterly, and set the beer can next to me.

I close my eyes for a few seconds, and when I open them, Gabe is leading Hayley upstairs and holding her hand, and _fuck,_ I'm going to be sick.

He's really testing my mental stability now.

I mean, two can play at that game. 

I stand up from the chair I was in, and glance around the room. 

There's a brunette standing in the corner alone, so I make a beeline for her.

I stand in front of her and I muster up enough confidence to say a simple, "Hey.”

She glances up at me from her cup. "Hi?"

"I'm William," I smile, leaning against the wall. 

She seems to look me up and down, "I'm Cassadee." 

Next thing I know I'm making out with her against the wall, grabbing at her hips while she pulls at the front of my shirt.

The entire time I imagine it's Gabe that I'm kissing, and when I press my lower half against her, I imagine it was him rolling his hips onto me. 

_I wish it was him._

* 

"Bilvy, wake up, cmon'.”

I blink open my eyes and I'm met with the wonderful sight of morning Gabe.

"I don't wanna."

"It's 9, everyone else already left." 

"I'm comfortable," I mutter, shutting my eyes again and readjusting my mangled limbs on the couch. 

Before I can even take another breath, I feel Gabe pulling me up and off of the sofa. 

"Stoppppp," I groan, refusing to stand. That only results in Gabe carry-dragging me across the room. 

"My mom will get mad if she sees you here.” 

I ignore his statement and let him take me to his car. 

"I have such a bad headache," I whine, not opening my eyes as Gabe pulls out of the driveway. 

“Take medicine when you get home." 

I sigh and nod, just wanting to sleep. 

Well, I want to until the events of the previous night come crashing like waves into my mind, and they wake me the fuck up instantly. 

I didn't end up sleeping with Cassadee. 

We made out and she suggested we go to Gabe's guest room, but by the time we were in there I bailed on her. It didn't feel right. All I could think about was Gabe and his eyes, his hair, his hips. 

But Gabe on the other hand, I have no idea. He usually gets more chicks than me and I'm sure he sleeps with half of them, so I wouldn't doubt he'd sleep with Hayley. 

"How was last night?" I suddenly ask Gabe as he turns a corner. 

He glances at me and gives a strange look, "Whaddya' mean?" 

"You know. Hayley." 

"What about her?" 

I roll my eyes, "Don't act so oblivious, Gabe, I saw you two having a staring contest in the corner and I saw you take her upstairs too.” 

"Oh. Yeah." 

"So? Do you like her?" 

"Not really.." He taps his fingers on the steering wheel and I can tell he's avoiding any and all eye contact with me. 

"Then why'd you sleep with her?" 

The car stops abruptly in front of my house, and it causes me to violently jerk forward. 

"A-" 

"How do you even know that I slept with her?" 

"I- don't know. I just assumed.." 

"It's none of your business." 

"I'm sorry but I just-" 

"Leave the subject alone!" 

"-I thought you said you liked someone.." 

Gabe looks pissed now. I should stop talking, really, but I can't help but to push it. 

He stares at me, burning holes into my skin. I squirm uncomfortably in the leather seat. 

I'm sure he's going to punch me or scream- that's until he kisses me. 

I feel stunned, unable to move at all. 

His thumbs are pressing into my jaw hard, but the pain doesn't seem to distract me from him. 

And I manage to kiss back after struggling to breathe. 

I've wanted this for so long- maybe not like this or right now, but this, and it's almost perfect. Almost. 

After a few agonizingly short seconds, he pulls away from me and actually _pushes_ me off of him. 

"What the fuck." He turns away from me. 

" _What the fuck,_ " He says again. 

"Um-" I sit very still. 

"Get out of my car." 

I raise an eyebrow at him, "What?" _He's_ the one that kissed me. 

"I said get out of my fucking car!" He twists towards me, and my heart is beating faster than ever. 

"But you kissed me?” 

"No- I- I just..I don't even like guys, Okay? It was a mistake.” 

"Right." I sink back into his seat. Well, this is just perfect. 

"I'm sorry. I don't like you in that way. We're just friends, okay?" 

I look at him blankly. 

"Okay." 

He nods, and I get out of his car faster than my brain can process all of what just happened. 

First he was all buddy-buddy, then he yelled at me, then he kissed me, and now he's saying he doesn't have any feelings for me whatsoever. Un-fucking-predictable. And I barely spoke 2 words! How would he even know that I like him? 

But he's right, I guess. 

He's just my friend. 

And that's all he'll ever be, so I shouldn't think about him in any way other than my friend from now on. 

Once I'm in my bedroom, I lock the door and cry into my pillow for a very long time. 

* 

Gabe hasn't talked to me in awhile. 

Not since our altercation. 

I've practically been wasting my days away in my bedroom thinking of him and what happened, the exact opposite of what I told myself to do. Waiting for calls that will never come and making calls that will never be answered. 

I want to know why he got so mad at me. I admit, I was being pushy and maybe invasive, but it's not like he's never told me about any hook-ups he's had. I've known Gabe since we were 7, we tell eachother everything. 

Well, maybe not everything. I've never fully disclosed to Gabe that I'm really fucking head-over-heels in love with his ass, and he's definitely not telling me something. 

I just wish he would talk to me. Or even _act_ like he likes me and wants to be my friend, anything. I feel like nothing without Gabe. We're both halves, and we make a whole. I'm missing my other half. 

I want it back. Even if it means fighting over anything and everything everyday, him coming over at the ungodly hours of the night and making me sleep through all of my classes, or him sleeping with people that aren't me. I don't care. I need him. 

I've seen him in the halls at school and specifically in my 6th period. The most he's done is glance at me. Not with a smile, with just the blankest stare that I can't make out, and by now I know all of Gabe's expressions like the back of my hand. I'd rather him scream he hates me and wants me to die over what he's doing to me now. 

Even worse- my family has noticed. 

At dinner they were practically quizzing me. 

_"So..you still talking to Gabe?" My dad asks, looking up at me from his plate._

_I choke on my food, trying to cover it up but ultimately failing._

_"Um."_

_"Sorry, it's just that I haven't seen him around as much. He used to come over every day, what happened?"_

_"Nothing." I shut him down quickly, not ready to talk about it, especially with them._

_"What, William, did you and Gabey have a little breakup?"_

_I stab my fork into my food, "Shut up, Courtney. You're so annoying."_

_"I was just asking.." My sister, Courtney, laughs to herself. I can't stand her sometimes. Most of the time._

_"I'm eating in my room," I announce, and leave the table, ignoring the calls from my parents to stay._

I feel completely and utterly alone. 

Sure, I have other friends. Sisky, Ryland, Victoria. They've tried reaching out and asking if I was okay, and I couldn't bring myself to say anything other than 'I'm fine.' I'm ashamed enough that I ruined our friendship with my own jealousy. If I can't talk to my friends about it, no way I can spill about what happened to my family. 

None other of my friendships compare to what I have with Gabe. 

Had. 

Everything seems to be in the past, and I don't know if he'll ever pick up any of my calls, or if he even listens to the voicemails I make while I'm mentally breaking on the floor of the bathroom late at night. 

_I really wish I hated Gabe._

* 

_Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap._

I grunt in my sleep, ignoring the noises coming from my left. 

_Tap. Tap. Tap._

I roll over so I'm facing my window, and holy shit, I almost scream at the top of my lungs. 

I sit up in bed quick, already sweating my ass off. 

Gabe is standing outside of my window. 

I squint, making sure it's really him and not a murderer, which I'd prefer right now. 

“Gabe?" I ask, my voice raspy and still tired-sounding. I know he probably can't hear me, but I’m saying it more to myself anyway. 

I can hear a muffled "Let me in," and, fuck, I don't know if I should. 

I sit there for a moment, simply just staring at him. He looks distressed. 

I can't resist the urge any longer than 10 seconds so I stand up and walk to the window to open it. 

Gabe wastes no time stepping inside and pushing past me, quite rudely. 

I say nothing and just stare at him in awe. 

He turns towards me and, Jesus, he looks even worse up close. His eyes are red and puffy and his breath smells strongly of alcohol. 

This is bad, _really_ bad. 

"Gabe?" I ask after a few beats of silence. 

"I'm sorry," He breathes, and I get a strong whiff of more alcohol breath. 

I frown, "Gabe, go home..it's late. And you're drunk. You're going to regret this." 

"But I miss you," he steps forward so our faces are inches apart, and he places two hands on my shoulders. I glance down at his hands, uncomfortable and yearning at the same time. 

"Do you miss me?" It comes out in a whiny tone and he looks like he's about to cry again. 

I shouldn't tell him that I miss him. I shouldn't let Gabe do this to me after ignoring me for 3 weeks straight, no calls, no texts, nothing. He has no right coming over unprovoked at 1 am and getting in my space with his stupid drunk breath and dumb little face. 

But I do miss him. I miss him more than anything in the world. 

"Of course I miss you.." My voice cracks and, fuck, I would sound stupid if I cared more. 

I only notice the way my heart has been beating strong and fast when his eyes flow from mine to my lips and back up. 

His lips are parted slightly and _shit_ , the thoughts I'm having. 

And then he kisses me. Full and deep and a little bit rough, and I can't keep myself from kissing back. 

He tastes like lemon and cigarettes and a part of me _loves_ it. 

This is going to probably be the last time I'm going to kiss him, maybe forever, because he'll go home and then remember and get mad at me again. But, oh well. 

I wrap my arms around his neck and his hands rest on my waist like they were meant to be there all along. 

After a minute or two of messy and uneven kissing, swiftly, Gabe lays me down on my bed. 

He climbs over me and shoves his knee between my legs. I choke back a moan, breathing hard onto his neck. 

Gabe hasn't said anything for the past 5 minutes, until now. 

"You're so fucking perfect," 

I nearly forget how to breathe after he says that, drunk or not. I'm incredibly turned on, the previous tiredness gone completely from my body. His hands are sliding up and down my torso, and maybe I do feel a little perfect with the way he's looking at me. 

And he's looked at me like this a million times before. 

I shove my tongue in his mouth as a response and he digs his nails into my hips, simultaneously holding me down on the bed. If he presses any harder I might bleed. Which would be kind of hot. 

I have so many questions, _infinitely many_ , but I don't know if I want to interrupt our little moment that we're having. 

" _Gabe.._ " It was a question but it comes out more moan-ish instead, and Jesus Christ. 

Gabe pulls away for a split second to take off his shirt and, _oh_ , yeah. So it's going there. 

I take my shirt off too because, fuck it. What else have I got to lose? 

Gabe is already mostly-naked as I'm still trying to lift my shirt off, the rush of the moment causing me to struggle. 

“God," I hear him groan, and he pulls it off for me. 

He pushes me back down by my chest, and he wastes no time attacking my neck with swollen lips. 

With the way he's biting and sucking, I can tell there are going to be bruises. I have no doubt that my parents will question me, but it's worth it. All worth it. 

His calloused fingers slide down my torso and hook under my pajama pants. 

I think for a minute and then breathe, "Take them off.” 

He yanks them down with the same hand,  
taking my underwear with them. 

I kick them off, and bring Gabe's lips back up to mine, momentarily pulling his bottom lip between my teeth and biting- not too hard, but so he can definitely feel it. 

I reach between us to yank on Gabe's belt, and try to unbuckle it blindly. 

I finally get it off after repeatedly failing, and he shoves my hand away so he can take his jeans off himself. 

When he's done, he gives me the strangest look. Not bad, but mischievous. 

"You wanna..." He doesn't finish his sentence, but I know what he means. 

I nod quickly, feeling a little vulnerable being fully naked under him. 

He bites his lip and then kisses me again, with actual passion this time. I'm confused. So confused. But it's fine. Totally. 

Gabe grinds down on me, and I moan way louder than I should have, considering my parents are trying to sleep 2 rooms down from me. 

"Shit," I whisper, and Gabe covers my mouth with his hand. Muffled groans escape my throat, and I bet I would sound like a total pornstar if it weren't for Gabe's hand. 

I'm close to screaming out when he puts a hand around me and starts jacking me off, quick and silent. 

" _Shhh,_ " He mutters, and fuck him. I don't know how he isn't having such a hard time, I'm on the edge of exploding and I can barely keep any words in. 

I squirm in my spot as he runs his thumb over the tip, bucking up into his hand. 

"Joder, eres el amor de mi vida," He babbles quiet Spanish in my ear, and considering how long I've known Gabe, I do _not_ understand a word of it. 

"Huh?" I say, my chest heaving up and down as I'm getting closer and closer each time he strokes my cock. 

"Come for me," Gabe grunts, and I do just that a few seconds after. 

It may be the best orgasm that I've had in the 18 years of my life because I’m letting out a stream of cusses and words that I don’t even remember and I can’t catch my breath. 

Gabe does too, and I hadn't even realized that he'd been rubbing himself off on my leg. And now there's cum on my hip and stomach. 

_Great._

Gabe lays on me for a long moment, resting his head on my chest and breathing heavily. I run my fingers through his hair like I always used to. 

It's takes awhile, but my brain finally catches up with what just happened and; oh. 

That was a really bad idea. 

I open my eyes and look down at Gabe. He lifts his head to look at me, and we both end up leaning in at the same time. 

* 

When I awake, the clock reads 7 am, fucking early for how late we ended up going to bed last night. All I really remember is him muttering something about it being _fucking cold_ and that he _just wants to stay with me_. I didn't mind, of course, not one bit. After cleaning ourselves off, we passed out on my bed. 

I still haven't recovered, the rush is still flowing in my veins like hard drugs. The way his head is on my chest and how he's sleeping soundly doesn't help much, either. 

I brush down the hair that's sticking up on his head with my hand, and whisper, "I love you.” 

All I hear is his soft breathing, and I'm relieved that he probably didn't hear it, but I also wish he would have. He hasn't told me that he loves me in such a long time. I used to think it was a little cheesy how many he'd say it in a day, but fuck, I miss it _so_ much. 

I lie in silence for another 30 minutes, enjoying the cool air against my naked skin and the feel of Gabe against me again. 

And I almost jump out of the bed when he speaks, unaware of how long he’d been awake. 

"I listened to your voicemails last night." 

I cringe, remembering how pathetic I sounded in those. I really don't know what to say, so I just settle with a simple "Oh." 

"I'm an asshole, aren't I?" 

I'm not going to lie to him. 

"Kind of. But I'm not perfect, either." 

"I shouldn't have yelled at you." 

“It's..fine." 

"It's not," He lifts his head up, and he’s frowning. 

And now I'm sad. 

"-I shouldn't have been so invasive. It's none of my business what you do. Really.." 

Gabe begins chewing on his lower lip, and I'm assuming he's nervous. 

"I've been thinking a lot since we stopped talking, and- er-" 

I raise an eyebrow at him. 

“I love you, like, a lot." 

"I know, Gabe-" 

He kisses me, not rough, but soft and slow and I savor every second of it. 

When he pulls away, he says, "No, you don't know." 

I blink at him. 

"I'm, like- I love love you. In love." 

Oh. Shit. 

"What happened to you not liking guys?" I ask, because you can't go from straight to Mr. I Love Cock in that amount of time. 

“I lied." 

“Why?" 

“Because I was scared, okay? I didn't want to accept whatever.." he waves his hand, "this is." 

_Hm._

“Then _what_ is _this_?" 

"Um, I don't know..what do you want it to be?" 

“Gabe, do you want to be my..?" 

"Erm, yeah. Yes." 

“For real?" 

“Yeah. I’m sure.” 

My mind is racing as I kiss him lightly, and he leans into it instantly. 

And maybe things are okay, for once. 

A weight that has been pressuring me for 5 years has been lifted, and I feel like I can breathe again. 

I don't break the kiss for a long time. 

**Author's Note:**

> hi!! i hope u enjoyed! if u didn’t i apologize. i may try to write other ships soon (petekey, quert?) if i get any ideas. thank u!!


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